First Christmas Home

Charlie looooves those dancing & singing animals that are most people's least favorite thing about Christmas.  I just asked Stephen to take him to CVS to get another one.  One because they're all 50% off now, two because I wanted 30 minutes to myself, and three, I knew that was a sure-fire way for Charlie to agree to go somewhere with Stephen.  We are still working on their bonding.  It is hard on everyone when Charlie fusses about Stephen doing anything for him or with him.



Christmas went much better than I expected it too.  The hardest part was just that there was (and is) never a break from his endless energy.  I literally go to bed about the time he does every night, and he wakes up about 15-30 mins after me every morning.  But, he was sweet and fun and really enjoyed getting and giving gifts, and time with family.  He got a nice range of things he likes-- from dancing dogs to circuit sets to money for the vending machine.  He never asked us about Santa, and we never mentioned him.  Even though he liked to sing songs about him, I think he understood that it's all just pretend.



He did pretty well sitting through the candlelight Christmas Eve service at church, and absolutely loved the candles. One thing we have realized in the past month is how much he likes and appreciates lights.  We went through a drive-thru light show a few weeks ago and he LOVED it. When people ask me how much he sees, I have started to recently say, "Well, he is more blind than he is sighted."  Within 1-3 feet, he can see a good bit, but past that it has to be pretty big for him to see it-- like a bus or a truck.  For example, usually doesn't know when another person is sitting 5-6 feet away from him.  But with the lights... WOW!  He could see them!  He named the colors and could even tell what some of the displays were before we told him.



He has such a great sense of humor and entertains us constantly.  He is snaggle-toothed now and more adorable than ever.  He still loves to be held and still needs me to go to sleep most nights, but as long as it is strengthening our relationship and his trust and confidence, I am still willing to do it when I can.  He loves to sing, and is getting better and better at playing.  He will now play Legos some and loves marble mazes.  We went to an indoor water park a few days ago and just like at Six Flags, he feared nothing.  After each ride (no matter how scary) at the bottom he'd say, "Let's do it again!"



Last Christmas we were longing to have him home, this Christmas we did and are possibly more tired than we have ever been, and hopefully next Christmas he won't be quite so exhausting, but he probably won't notice all of the details that he did this year, because it was his first.  It was fun and special, even if I plan to sleep all day next Tuesday when he finally goes back to school.

5 Months Home

There is an adoption book that talks about parenting your adopted child by their family age and not their chronological age.  Like a 3 year old home for 6 months, you would treat like a 6 month old.  Well, it doesn't make quite as much sense with an 8 year old home for 5 months, but when I think about that concept, it does help me cut Charlie some slack.  And when I read back over some of my blog entries from the first couple of months home, I am reminded that even though he still has a loooong way to go, he has come quite far.

He is much less controlling.  He almost never asks me for my keys anymore, and he doesn't mind listening to music in the car.  He likes to choose which car we take, but does better in the car than he did, he just talks constantly.  He is still incredibly busy and hyper, but he can sit and play, and he even does so on occasion.  He whines, but not nearly as much as before. Now he is more likely to argue than complain.  I am still worn out most of the time, but that is no longer all because of Charlie.

He does some pretty crazy things that would be funny if they weren't so annoying.  Like the other day, he put a radio with Christmas music on in the front yard, cranked it way up and pulled numerous toys outside and got ready for a "party" which no one came to.  A few nights ago, he said he was going to take a bath, but then realized Sam was still in the back yard playing.  So, wet and naked, he opened the bathroom window and started throwing bath toys out to Sam in the back yard.  Of course Sam thought it was so outrageous he could not contain his delight, even though I've asked him not to encourage behavior like that.

Charlie is finally in love with me.  He loves me so much he doesn't want to go to school anymore. He loves me so much, he doesn't want Stephen to do anything for him.  He loves me so much he sleeps on my floor almost every night.  His new favorite thing is me rocking him and singing "Rock-a-Bye Charlie."  The other day, he asked me what he will do when I "get died."  Y'all, this is huge.  He went from scoping out a new family just two months ago, to depending on me and preferring me over anyone else.  We are now working on nurturing his bond with Stephen too.

For months, when I would do something nice or kind for him, he'd say, "Why you do that for me, Mom?"  And I'd say, "Because I love you.  Because you are my son."  A few days ago, he asked me that, and I said, "You tell me.  Why do I do that?"  He grinned and said, "Cuz I your son.  You love me!"  You got it, Buddy!



He used to act so confident, when we first got him.  (He was trying to hide his fear.)  Then later, he acted scared of everything.  (Showing vulnerability.)  Now, he is not as fearful, but he still has a good bit of anxiety.  He'll say things make him "nerbous."  He sleeps on our floor more than in his bed, he still likes to be held A LOT and he asks people to go with him when he goes upstairs or downstairs and no one is on that floor.  When Stephen leaves to go out of town, Charlie will say, "Is he going to come back?"  Of course.  He always comes back, but Charlie is still needing him to prove it.  I am pretty sure that once he feels secure, he will have a brand new, true and genuine confidence that will make us all very proud.

I think I say something about how smart he is every single blog, but it is just amazing.  The words and vocabulary he uses astound me.  Stephen and I lived in Costa Rica for a year and a half many years ago, so we speak some Spanish.  It is very convenient when we don't want the kids to know what we're saying.  A few weeks ago, we were leaving town for 2 nights and I hadn't set up for anyone to feed the cats.  That is something that would really worry Charlie, so in Spanish I said, "Ai, olvide de pedir a alguien para dar de comer a los gatos."  He gasped and said, "Oh!  Who gonna feed da cats!?"  Stephen and I just stood there in shock.  The kid who says he no longer speaks Chinese, understands SPANISH!?  I posted about this on Facebook and found out from someone at Bethel that there was a Chilean woman who used to volunteer there and hang out with Charlie on Saturdays.  So apparently he learned some Spanish in China too.  Lol!



We would appreciate your prayers next week.  I have a feeling being out of his routine and the craziness of the Christmas week could really be hard on Charlie.  We are going to try to have some sort of routine, and keep things relatively simple, but that is easier said than done.  It will definitely be a Christmas to remember-- hopefully in positive ways! ;)

Oh, Charlie!

Our Charlie may be exhausting, he may be the busiest kid I've ever met.  He may wear us out and stretch us more than we ever wanted to be stretched.  But he is hilarious.  And it's a good thing.  When Stephen is stressed, he works out.  When I am stressed, I eat and sleep.  He is getting very skinny and I keep getting fatter and fatter.  I have days when I am enjoying this season, and I have days when I want to go to bed at 6:00pm.  But Charlie can still make me laugh-- multiple times a day.  And he acts like he likes me now, which is quite nice.  He only tells me he doesn't like me once or twice a week (when he's really mad about not getting his way).  There was a time he told me that once or twice an hour.  And sometimes he even just blurts out, "I like you, Mom!"



He still almost never stops, from wake-up to bedtime.  Last week we went to my parents' house for 2 nights for Thanksgiving and that was a much-needed "break" for us.  It wasn't a complete break, but having two sets of extra hands with the kids was very nice.  And Charlie loved riding his riding toys, playing with their dog, toy guns, and skinny dipping in their hot tub.



He continues to do well in school and falls more in love with his teachers and para-pro every day. He is so smart and catches on to things very quickly. He flawlessly delivered a line in his class's Thanksgiving performance.  He is very confident in school and is catching up quicker than we expected him to.  Last week he had his first play date with a friend from his class!

First Turkey & Dressing!

We have started attending a church close to our house.  It is very small and they have been very accommodating with Charlie.  We have been 4 weeks in a row, and he finally looks forward to it, and says he wants to go.  Yay!  Recently on a drive, he had to pee and we stopped in a church parking lot for him to go in a bottle. When he was finished he said, "Bye, church!  I love you, Jesus!"  No disrespect, Lord.






His obsession with vending machines is unwavering.  He told me the other day, "Mom, when I get big, I will try not to talk about vending machines so much.  I know it get on your nerbs."  He asked Santa for a vending machine.  Stephen took him to the zoo and instead of the animals, he wanted to find all of the vending machines.  One day at the grocery, I was in line close to the door and I told him he could go out and look at the vending machines.  When I came out,  he was there talking to a worker about the new vending machine.  And how could it only be 50 cents?  And why were certain drinks sold out?  And when was she going to fill it back up?  Stephen asked him recently where he wanted to work when he grows up and he said Walmart.  Stephen said, "What do you want to do at Walmart?"  Charlie's answer: "Fill the vending machines."  Last night I changed the words to Silent Night for him, and sang:

Vending machines, vending machines
Charlie loves vending machines
He puts paper money in
Coins come out, with a soda
Charlie LOVES vending machines
Charlie loves vending machines

He asked me to sing it twice.  It was that good.
He is super excited about Christmas and in his enthusiasm has restrung all of the Christmas lights and broken multiple ornaments.  He loves to sing and knows quite a few Christmas songs.  He doesn't really know or care much about Santa, but we did take him to see The Caring Santa (which is for kids with special needs) and he was sweet and polite.  He loves snow globes that play music and Stephen reminds me everyday that he is going to break them, but oh well.  Worse things have happened.



As I've mentioned before, I have been concerned with Charlie's lack of weight gain.  After over 4 months home and not a pound gained, I finally talked our pediatrician into ordering a test for parasites.  I mean what do we have to lose?  I'm a nurse.  I kind of obsess about poop.  Charlie comes from institutional care in China.  It is extremely likely that he comes with a parasite.  I went immediately to pick up the kit from the doctor.  When Charlie got home I told him the next time he had to go poo-poo I needed to collect a little bit of it.  Um, WHAAAAT??????  No way.  He said that was "disgusting."  He would not, absolutely not, give me his poop.  I tried to explain the reason, but for a kid who hopes one day that animals will grow in his belly I didn't think telling him a tiny worm might be in there would go over too well.  I just said the doctor needed to see it to see if it was healthy poop.  He said it wasn't happening.  He would only poop at school if he had to.

Two days went by and I was ready to test that poop.  That night at dinner I told him I really needed him to poop at home.  If he did, I would give him a sticker.  He IMMEDIATELY ran to the bathroom and yelled, "It's coming!  My poo-poo is coming!!!"  It wasn't.  He went back and forth 4 times (during dinner, remember?) until I said Whatever, just go in the toilet and I'll figure something out.  I would believe it when I when I saw it.  At that point, Sam decided this could possibly be fun, and said he could "collect it" for me.  The next time they went in there, it happened.  Sam started screaming like a girl.  I went in there, and Sam said Never mind, I could do it.  He was "freaked out."

The next day, I took it in and guess what?  He had Giardia.  After 7 days of Flagyl three times a day, he immediately started gaining weight.  He has already gained 2 pounds.  Mamas keep it up. Sometimes we are right.  When we are, it feels good.

Charlie claims he no longer knows Chinese.  I am certain that when he hears Chinese he still understands, and he enjoys listening to Chinese Nursery Songs.  But recently we Skyped with his teacher from Bethel and he spoke to her completely in English.  That makes me a little sad.  It is amazing how quickly he is learning English, but it seems like his brain has shut off Chinese.



Here are some of Charlie's versions for English words, for your entertainment (and ours in the future, when he no longer says things this way):
Scabetti = Spagetti
Old Maybe = Old Navy
Big Wheel = Goodwill
I forget you = I forgive you
Dunklings = Dumplings
Yesternight = last night
Flesh You = Bless You
Toylah = toilet



We are looking forward to making more memories this holiday season!