Home 1 Year!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have turned a corner!  The beginning of summer was HARD. Charlie thrives on routine, and that is close to impossible to keep up in the summertime. Having Stephen home should have made it easier, but there were days when it seemed to make it more difficult. They have been going to Play Therapy and working on their relationship, but there is still a lot of tension and anxiety between them.  Even a couple of weeks ago, Charlie was still having major fits (not that often but still having them) and not sleeping well still.



There is a little rhyme that Charlie says all the time, I guess he learned it in China, or on YouTube:
"Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Eating sugar?
No, Papa.
Telling lies?
No, Papa.
Open your mouth.
Ha, ha, ha!"
At some point in the past couple of months, he and Stephen have started calling each other Big Johnny and Little Johnny.  So add that to the list of things Charlie calls his dad. Stephen, Babi, Papa, Johnny, Stephen Seabolt, Dad, and occasionally Daddy.

Stephen is a fabulous dad, but Charlie comes with a story and a past that does not just disappear with a few months of having a loving home.  What we've learned through counseling is that we are doing most things right, but healing from past wounds takes a long, stinking time.  And we have learned that for us, we are ok with medicating him if it helps him to be healthy and regulated.

About a week ago we tweaked his ADHD meds again, and oh my goodness, what a difference it has made!  As Stephen said, it's like a switch was flipped and he went from angry, anxious Charlie to happy, nervous Charlie.  He is still full of energy and talks all.the.time.  But he's happy and mostly cooperative.  He has been the best behaved child in the family for several days now.  This is a first! He says his brain feels better on this med, even though he still is "nerbous a lot."

Charlie went to two 2 week camps with Kate at the Center for the Visually Impaired.  They were both ALL day camps and I was worried about how he would handle that, and if he would behave.  The first one was Braille Camp and the second was Blind Camp.  He had a few bumps in the road at Braille Camp because they were making him work and that my friends is something he does not like to do, but overall he did well and learned a lot.  It was fun to get to spend time with his friend Gabe from Bethel.  He had a blast at Blind Camp, made some friends, and got to try out all kinds of new things.





Over the past few weeks we have reminisced a lot about our trip to China a year ago and our first few days and weeks home.  To be honest it has been a long year.  Even the trip seems like a long time ago. But it's fun to watch the videos and hear Charlie speaking Chinese and little 2 word English phrases. He has grown about 4 inches taller, but is still just as skinny as he was the day we met him.  He eats good, healthy breakfasts and dinner, but his meds decrease his appetite at lunch.  And he never stops burning calories all day long.

He is totally fine in the car now, as long as no one sits in HIS seat.  He even lets us listen to the radio most of the time.  He is sleeping at night now, thanks to Clonodine.  He still doesn't like to be alone and is terrified of thunder ("unther").  He still likes to try new things, but he asks about 200 questions beforehand.  He is not nearly as jealous as he was. He was totally fine about Kate's birthday and party and even excited for her.  He has been to his first movie, which was Finding Dory.  He used the audio description and seemed to follow the story just fine.  He loves to watch YouTube videos about Finding Dory, so he already knew all of the characters, which probably helped.



He is not nearly as obsessed with vending machines, but still enjoys getting to go for a special treat. His new fascination is party lights.  He and Sam and Kate pooled their money together and ordered party lights for the all new "party room" in our basement.  He can't see much, but he can see lights and color.  He loves to crank up his reggae music and rearrange all of the lights for the ultimate party experience.  Today we are going to Six Flags to celebrate Kate's Gotcha Day and Charlie said can we not stay too long so he can come back home and play with the party lights.  What???



He still loves shopping, especially at the grocery, Target or Costco.  He loves crafts and making things.  Lately we have put our foot down about doing things with Daddy.  Like making playdough, going to the grocery store, painting.  Things we know he likes to do, but in the past has refused to do with Stephen.  We have started presenting it differently. We don't ask if he wants to do it.  We just say that is what he is doing.  And shockingly he almost never argues.  He used to pitch a fit or throw a tantrum.  I don't know how much of it is that he is learning to trust us or how much of it is our presentation of it, but the most important part is that it is working.  We have learned that even though kids from hard places are often bossy control freaks, deep down they really long for an adult to be in charge.  It just takes them a while to trust them enough to let them do it.

Stephen is starting his new job next week, which is in an office.  (He's been working from home for the past 2.5 years.)  It will be an adjustment for us, but I am grateful that the kids have had such quality time with him this summer. As slow as the progress has been, I do think Stephen being home so much did help with the attachment process.

 

About a month ago, I was getting onto him about never smiling for the camera.  I  told him he needed to come up with a trick for himself to help him make better pictures.  He is such a handsome boy and has such a nice smile.  The trick he came up with is neighing. Instead of saying "Cheese" (because he hates cheese), he neighs like a horse every time we tell him to smile for a picture.  It is working wonderfully.

A few weeks ago, on July 6th, we celebrated Charlie's "Gotcha Day"-- the day we got him. We told him it was his special day and we could do anything he chose.  He wanted to go to The Dollar Tree to shop, Waffle House for dinner, and Cold Stone for dessert.  While at WH, he got to choose a song off the juke box.  He chose "Proud to Be an American" by Lee Greenwood, and those sitting around us got to enjoy him singing along.