Off to the Races!

We met Charlie exactly 2 months ago, and today is his first day of First Grade.  It is amazing how far he has come, and neat how the timing just seems perfect. We spent some time over the last 2 days with his Orientation and Mobility teacher learning his way around the school, eating lunch in the cafeteria, getting to know his teacher and meeting his classmates.  He is already a celebrity.  His little class is soooo excited about him coming and it is so sweet.  When his teacher was introducing him to his class, he was standing there with his head down (and his hand where it isn't supposed to be), and I was getting a little nervous and a little sad, when a little friend piped up, "WE'RE SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE, CHARLIE!"  Oh, First Graders.  How I love them.

Last night at bedtime instead of talking about Bethel or Birthday, he wanted to talk about School! This morning he got ready quickly and was out the door before anyone else.  We walked with him to his class and he led the way.  He remembered exactly where to put his cane and backpack and was all smiles. As Charlie would say, "I no like learning.  I like friends."  I admit I am just slightly nervous for him, but I really do think after a few weeks he will love it.  He seemed to be totally fine when we left.  He said, "Mommy and Daddy say Bye-Bye now, yes?" and off we went!  He is so adventurous, and that really will take him so far in life.

Sam was asking me what would happen if Charlie needed something at school and couldn't communicate his needs.  I listed out all of his "helpers" by name: Classroom Teacher, Braille Teacher, Para-pro, ESOL Teacher, O&M Teacher... and said, "Don't you worry, Sam.  Charlie will be very well looked after." And Charlie said, "SOOOO many friends...."  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention all the little friends that are eager to help him too!

And as for that perfect timing, I am so ready for a break.  These last few months have been intense.  I know many people keep their newly adopted kids home for a year or more, and some homeschool, and man, kudos to them.  I could not do that.  I adore my children, but I feel like I am such a better mom when I'm able to have some "free" time to be productive and rest, and just get my act together.

"Why?"  Charlie just learned this word.  "Why?"  I don't know, he just did.  "Why?"  Because he is learning new words every day.  "Why?"  Because he just moved here from China less than 2 months ago.  "Why?"  Because he was adopted.  "Why?"  Because.  "Why?"  So he could ask me 'why' a million times a day?  Oh my word.  He also says "What?" all the time, but that's when he didn't get the details of what you just said.  That one is usually a little easier to answer.

We Skyped with Charlie's English teacher, Clement, from Bethel the other day.  He is French and spent 8 months in Duodian last year teaching Charlie and several of the other friends from Bethel. He is such a nice guy and was so happy to see Charlie with a family. They had a close relationship and I am so glad we are able to keep in touch with him.  He told us that Charlie really likes Reggae music and sent us a bunch of songs.  When we played them, his reaction was HILARIOUS!  He loved it and knew all the words.  He would recognize a song he knew with just the first few notes. This morning on the way to school we were all jammin' to Toots & the Maytals!

When we told Clement that Charlie really likes pre-school songs and often acts much younger than he is, he was surprised.  He told us with him he liked Funk and Reggae and was one of the most mature kids there.  He said he was very independent and autonomous.  I remember when we first started the process to adopt Charlie, Chloe (from Bethel) telling me that they had been praying he would be the youngest in a family.  I think for so long he had been the oldest, and they felt like he deserved to be babied.  He has definitely enjoyed being our baby, and we are thankful that the Lord worked this out for him.  We are starting to see him mature, and act closer to his age, and I think school will definitely help too.  I wrote about babying him in the post To Baby or Not to Baby, and I really feel like not only was it good for him, but it was good for bonding.

Jen Hatmaker is hilarious and tells it like it is.  She wrote about the first year after adoption HERE. For our family, many of these stages were much shorter.  Her honeymoon was 4-6 weeks, ours was 4-6 days. We were in the Spaz Out Stage she references for a while, but I already feel like we are in the Triage Stage and we are in month 2.  I love what she says about this stage:

"You realize the fits are under ten minutes and only happening every fourth day. This alone is reason to live. You’re out of the weeds. Your little one has been pulled from the burning building and subsequent terror and spaz-o-rama, and she is now in triage. You are definitely not out of the woods – the assessments, the precision surgery, the rehab is still to come – but she is out of immediate danger and stabilizing.  Evidence of her preciousness keeps peeking out. You see her real self more and more frequently. She is feeling a teeny bit safer, just beginning to trust your love. Some of those tricks Dr. Purvis taught us are working. (Except for those bitterly frustrating “scenarios” in The Connected Child when the kid follows the script to a tee, auto-corrects immediately, and goes back to playing blocks, nodding his head like, “Lesson learned, Mom. You do indeed know best.”)  As for you, you’re coming out of the fog. You start returning phone calls. You brave a Date Night. You look at your bio kids and ask, “Oh, hi there. So how have you been the last seven months?” Maybe your new role as Trauma Counselor won’t be permanent after all. You color your two inches of gray and get a haircut. You step on the scale and realize you’ve either lost or gained ten pounds from stress. Okay, it’s gained. I’m just trying to give you hope."

Oh, man, she nails it. We are not out of the woods, and yesterday was more in the Spaz Out phase for most of our family members, but today is a new day and all three kids are in school!  We have had several moments of sweetness this week and a same-age play date that went great.  I took advantage of the small crowds at an indoor play facility this week and Charlie also played well with the babies. He is so easy to get along with most of the time. I got a haircut this week, and my aunt kept Charlie for a short time.  Kate and Sam are still struggling to get along.  We are not sure how much of this has to do with Charlie, with us, or if we are just entering another sibling stage all together.  I guess time will tell, but Stephen and I are pretty tired of it, and starting to crack down more.

I assured Charlie that I would not go to Target or Supermarket without him today.  I hope I can remember how to shop alone, without him asking me what 1,000 things are.  It felt weird to pull into the garage without him asking to open it and insisting I give him my keys every time we get out!  I can't wait to hear how his day went, and see what he thought about everything!  Stay tuned.