Our water boy is learning to swim! He wanted "no more floaties", so we got a flotation device that straps on your back (which he calls his 'back-pack') and he is loving it. He is willing to stay at the pool much longer now, is quite independent, and LOVES jumping off of the diving board with no fear what so ever.
Kate is doing a little better, but is still annoyed by pretty much anything Charlie does or says, and usually pretty embarrassed by him. Today, I heard her tell some girls at the pool that she had never met, "That's my brother. He's special needs."
Her teachers say she is fine at school, but she is still often struggling at home. She is figuring a lot of things out and it's hard. I have had some more 1:1 time with her the past few days, and that does seem to help.
Today Sam told Charlie, "You are my best friend." Kate said, "What about me?!" He said, "Nah, you just hit me all the time now." It made me laugh and made me sad at the same time.
On Saturday, the boys played some soccer at the park. Sam was thrilled because there really aren't that many things that he and Charlie have found that they both enjoy yet. Charlie was so cute running around kicking the ball in all the wrong directions. Then he would skip over to me and shout, "MA! I like soccer! I like soccer!"
One of the main reasons he and Sam don't have much common ground yet is because he is still quite immature. He loves baby toys and preschool things. We literally take him to Target and let him play with the baby toys for a reward these days! And it keeps him busy for almost an hour!
I have set up several play dates with with much younger little friends, and it's going great. Just like your typical 3 year old play date, he is really just there for the toys, and the other moms and I have a great time catching up!
He also found an English show that he likes: Daniel Tiger! He watches the same episode every day, but he sits there for 20 mins. It's simple, and DT talks to you, which he likes. He watches the episode where DT goes to school, but he tells me he has no plans to go to school any time soon.
His magnetic letters are our home-school curriculum these days. I think we have some work to do.
He also loves Thomas the Train! Some very generous friends gave him a TON of Thomas stuff and it is keeping him busy. He is more interested in changing the batteries in the trains than he is setting up the tracks, but Sam and Kate have been helping with that. They are enjoying it more than they would like to admit, I think.
We also have some new favorite bedtime books. Move over Panda Bear and Baby Beluga... Thomas books are all he wants to read now! Especially the ones with sound effects, of course.
He is picking up on a lot of the things we say and it is adorable. He constantly says, "Oh my gosh!" Today is just said, "Holy!" I told him that it doesn't sound really nice to just say Holy, so he can say Holy Cow, or something. Not sure he understood that. Also, when he asks you something, he'll say "Yes? No?" But when you ask him something he'll say, "Sure!"
He is still figuring out what he likes to eat, and definitely becoming more picky. Again, kind of like a 3 year old. He loves The Varsity-- especially the Chili "Dog Hot", Chick-Fil-A, and of course McDonalds'. Other than that, (and bananas) we don't really have sure fire go-to's anymore. He used to want noodles every meal and that has definitely changed. He is still telling me he doesn't like rice. (?) He is pretty good about eating fruits and vegetables and we are still letting him choose what he eats, for the most part, but he is not eating anywhere close to what he was a couple of weeks ago. At his pediatrician's appointment they said he was in the 5th percentile, which is better than we expected. He seems so tiny to us, and does have a history of malnutrition as a baby. He is crazy strong though.
Speaking of which... the tantrums are better. They still happen several times a week, but not daily, and they are usually short and not nearly as violent. He has had a few grumpy days lately and a couple of episodes where he'll just cry for a few minutes without a tantrum. Both of these things are new, but I don't think they're bad. They're just part of this crazy, emotional ride.
One of his favorite things to do is hide under a blanket and yell, "Where's the Charlie?!" When I "find him" and pull back the blanket he laughs hysterically like it's the funniest thing that's happened all day. On the surface some of these baby things seem so silly to play with a 7 year old, but I believe that there are parts of his brain that are learning (or relearning) things and reverting back to that stage where most babies are when they are learning to connect with their parents. Sometimes I find myself getting used to it, and on the other hand I keep trying to explain it to everyone so they'll realize he won't act like this forever.
If you have adopted internationally or are in the process, I would highly recommend reading The Connected Child and Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child. These books don't necessarily make this journey easy, but they do offer amazing insight into what kids from hard places are going through-- why they act the way the do, and how you can help them through this rough and bumpy transition of becoming sons and daughters. These kids need, want, and deserved to be babied. They thrive from being held, rocked, fed, treasured. Most of the time, this is the first time that they have been babied in their lives. They became rough and tough survivors out of necessity, but they really just wanted to be somebody's baby.
I know when many people see me carrying or babying my 45 pound 7 year old, they probably judge me, or think he is "special needs" as Kate says, but whatever. I'm getting stronger and he is too, just in different ways. Reading through these books again is reminding me of these things and bringing me immense peace and a renewed commitment to get through the storms. Immaturity, tantrums, hyperactivity... all normal and completely expected with these kids. And it's worth it. They are worth it. Sometimes we need reminding.
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