It has been one month since Charlie joined our family. He has made more progress in the last week than he did in the first 3. He is still struggling in some areas, but is absolutely improving his self control. He is still having some tantrums, but we have definitely witnessed him throttling back and not losing it several times, which is huge. His triggers are usually hunger, heat, or someone left. So we are doing our best to prevent what we can and be equipped for the melt-downs when they are inevitable. He had a horrible one in the carpool line on Monday (first day of school), but when we've been home, they usually only last 10 minutes or so. HUGE improvement from 30-60 mins or more before.
We realized pretty quickly that we just don't have that many toys that he is all that interested in. Because of his lack of vision, he loves toys that make noise, light up, vibrate, and of course, use batteries. We have a few things like that, but not much. So I took him to Toys R Us and told him he could pick out some toys. At first, he was having a grand time in the 18 to 36 month section, but I steered him to the pre-school toys, and he picked out several things that he is very excited about. He did not want a basket or a cart, he wanted to carry them around the store. He looked hilarious and kept dropping them. Finally he said, "Les go, Mama. You get da door."
About a week ago, Charlie decided he wanted to start sleeping in "Sam's room", but it didn't work out and he was back in our bed the next night. Then a few nights later, he asked if he could try again. That day, he had said he liked a piggy bank Sam had so Sam emptied out the money and gave it to him. That night, tucking Charlie in, I said, "if you sleep without getting up tonight, I'll give you a sticker in the morning." He was holding that piggy bank. He shook it and said, "I want sticker AND money." I told him he had a deal. That night he slept from 8:30 to 7:30! No Melatonin! Every night since, he has been in their room and slept through the night. The amount of money he gets depends on how quickly he stops talking and getting out of bed, but as long as he doesn't get up in the middle of the night (and wake Sam and everyone else up) he gets at least 10 cents. Every morning he comes downstairs-- naked as a jaybird-- and says, "Good morning, Mama. Charlie slep good. May I have money please?" He then puts the coins in his piggy bank and shakes it, smiling and proud. Mommy is finally sleeping all night too, so we're all fine with this deal for now.
Every time I tell Charlie to look at me for a picture, he turns in my direction and makes no facial expression. So, I'll say, "Smile! Show me your teeth!" And this is what he does...
A little over a week ago, I had someone coming to clean the house (thank the Lord). I wanted to get out of her way, but we didn't really have any where to go. Charlie hadn't been out of the house much at that point and he doesn't like to get hot, so I thought we could spend a little time at an indoor Chick-Fil-A playground. That day was pretty terrible-- other than coming home to a clean house, that was glorious. We had to pull over in at least 4 parking lots for Charlie to pee. He had a meltdown in the car at one point. He kept saying he wanted to leave the playground, and then we'd leave and he'd complain about leaving. BUT, that was a special day for Charlie because he met Chick-Fil-A: their indoor playgrounds, their waffle fries, and their yogurt parfait, and his life has never been the same. In the last 10 days, we have been to 5 different locations. Today we went (again!) and he was like a different child from last week. He was relaxed, happy, and having fun. And only peed once, and it was actually in a toilet.
He loves to be naked (we do require underwear most of the time) and around our house rarely wears a shirt.
He calls his dad "Steben" about 90% of the time.
He loves to sing and knows a ton of English songs. Unfortunately, his favorite is "Let It Go."
He will sing for pretty much anyone and when we sing at bedtime, he belts it out so loud our neighbors can probably hear him.
When he wants me to pick him up, he'll say, "Hold you, Mama."
He is a peace maker. Sam and Kate have not been getting along lately, at all. When they fight (which is almost constantly these days) Charlie will say, "Noooo, Sam! Noooo, Kate! No fuss! Come, give me a hug." And hold his arms outstretched. Sam is mad at Kate because she's not nice to Charlie. Kate is made at Sam because he favors Charlie. Charlie just wants everybody to get along.
A couple of weeks ago, we gave Charlie one of Kate's old canes and he just swung it around and acted like he had no idea what to do with it. But yesterday we went on a walk in our neighborhood and I told him he needed to practice using his cane. To my surprise, he did so willingly and did a really great job. Either someone has shown him what to do, or he's just watched enough people to figure it out. I was very proud of him.
Our little animal lover is getting to know all of the neighborhood dogs by name. When we drive past their houses, he'll roll down his window and yell, "Bye___________!" (Fill in dog's name.) He likes the actual human neighbors fine too, but he really just wants to visit them so he can pet their dogs.
He is getting better with our cats too. Still crazy-obsessed with them, but not tormenting them quite like he was a week ago.
The first month has been harder than I expected in some ways, but more fun than I expected in others. I knew we would be tired and our life would be bumpy adjusting to all of the changes. I knew Kate would have a hard time. I knew there would be *some* tantrums. I did not know they would be so violent and happen almost daily. I thought Charlie would be sad a lot, but he seems happy about 95% of the time. I did not know how hard (impossible?) meeting the needs of all 3 kids would be. I did not know Sam and Kate would decide that they can't stand each other, and that would drain me more than the tantrums. I did not expect Charlie to love us so much so soon, and I did not expect loving him to come so easily for me. He gives us multiple hugs and kisses daily and has recently started saying, "Lub you!"
Some very delicious meals have been graciously provided by some amazing women. We are so very grateful for this act of kindness and cannot imagine what we would be eating if it wasn't for them! Thank you, friends! And for those of you who pray, please pray for continued progress for Charlie, and for peace in our home. We love you and appreciate your prayers and support.
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