It is still amazing to me that so many of these blind orphans, often outcasts in their own land, are settling into their homes with their families in America. Most of Charlie's friends from Bethel are either already adopted or are in the process of being adopted. People are choosing to love these kids, to give them a home and a family. It was one year ago this week that we sent in our application to start the process of adopting Charlie, and also this week last year that I met Gabe and George's moms, Amanda and Katie. What a year it has been, watching God's plans for these kids unfold. God has a wonderful plan for them and for our families to be transformed by them.
When we visited Kate's orphanage last month, I was so emotional. It hit me hard that that place was once her home. That she had been one of the outcasts. Orphaned. Now that she is known and loved by so many, it is easy to forget where she came from. But it is when I forget that, that I get impatient with her jealousy and attitude towards Charlie. She needs reminding more than most that she is wanted, cherished, precious. When she doubts those things, it can get ugly. And we also need to remember that the Lord loves us and cares for us. Otherwise we might get ugly too.
Charlie has had a good week, and Kate is getting better. She has shown more kindness and he is not requiring quite as much patience as he was. He is enjoying some new responsibilities and sleeping great. He likes to check the mail, unload the dishwasher, load the washing machine, walk the neighbors' dog, and he LOVES to run errands. I still pay him 25 cents per night to sleep. He went to a consignment sale with me yesterday and bought a dog guitar he has been drooling over at Target for $3 with his "sleeping money." We have only had one major tantrum this week. He has had a few episodes of crying and occasionally will get in some weird trance where he'll say the same word over and over for about 5 minutes straight. Sometimes it's No, sometimes it's someone's name, sometimes it's Stop. Today he did it and I recorded it on my phone. Afterward I let him listen to it. I asked him what was wrong and why he did that. He said, "I don't know. I sorry Mom."
He has become incredibly picky with what he'll eat, which is terribly inconvenient for me. I struggle with continuing to let him eat what he wants to give him a voice and some control, and telling myself I'm creating a monster who gets pickier every day. The other day he had hot dogs, seaweed, and dumplings for lunch and then wanted the exact same thing for dinner. I said no.
Last night I was able to leave Charlie with Stephen for the first time and go to Open House at the kids' school. He handled it very well, and was even asleep when I got home-- Charlie, not Stephen! We were both surprised at how well he did and encouraged by it. He is slowly calling Stephen "Daddy" more and more, and was happy to go the pool with him tonight, even though no one else wanted to go.
He had his evaluations for visually impaired services at school this week. He was not thrilled with some of the things he had to do, but was moderately cooperative most of the time and followed instructions very well. He enjoyed playing on the Brailler they have for him at school... it talks to him, which is right up his alley. (Battery? No Battery?) From their assessment it was confirmed that he has very little vision, but that doesn't slow him down AT ALL. I am sure most of his life people will assume he can see better than he can because he is absolutely all over the place. But the bumps, bruises and scars are indicators that he doesn't see many obstacles in his path.
They had a Mandarin speaking interpreter there, just to make sure he understood all of the instructions. She could not believe how good his English already is and he's only been here less than one month. He listened to her and was polite, but would not speak to her in Chinese. It is crazy that just a month ago he was talking to complete strangers on the street in Chinese and now we can't get him to say a thing!
We have had a few more play dates with much younger kids this week and it's been great. Yesterday, however, Sam decided to take Charlie (without my knowing it) to a friend's house way up the street. We know the kid, but we don't really know the parents. I was slightly panicked when I realized it and ran up there imagining him throwing a fit in the middle of the road (it has happened with me!) or with his pants down peeing in their yard (happens often) or breaking some valuable decoration (we have "baby-proofed" our house again), etc, etc. But when I got there, he was just petting their cat and Sam said he was very polite and well-behaved. So it turned out fine, and gave me hope that same-age play dates may not be all that far off.
A week ago, we had not traveled long distances by car and he was still not a huge fan of the seat belt. But on Tuesday, we drove 1.5 hours one way to my parents' house to see my brother and his family. We did have to stop 3 times each way for a potty break, and he did complain a lot, but we made it! My parents live in the country and when we pulled into their driveway he said, "Duodian! Mommy! Look like Duodian." That is the suburb of Beijing where he lived at Bethel. The next day he said, "Mom, we go to Duodian tomorrow? Yes, no?" So cute, sweet and sad. We have been chatting with Teacher Fang though, and it is so nice to keep connections there for him. (He only speaks to her in English too now.) I think his brain is temporarily shutting down Chinese to learn English faster, but we would like to help him retain his Chinese down the road. Luckily there are lots of Chinese classes around us.
His English is so cute. He and I understand each other most of the time. He is very good at explaining with gestures. He'll do something with his hands and say, "An a dis. An dis. An, see Mama?" I almost always can figure out what he is talking about. It's like having a 2 year old where you know what they are saying even if no one else does. Anything up is "upstairs", anything down is "downstairs." About 20 times per day at the kitchen table he'll point to a food and say, "Dis, I no like." Stephen and Sam taught him to say "Sho nuff" last night.
He is enjoying his toys now and playing much better alone. Still not really good at playing with others yet. He still gets very frustrated when he can't find a toy. His vision is really only about 1-2 feet for smaller objects like that. But we are trying to encourage him to use his hands to find things and we help him when we need to and praise him when he finds things without losing his marbles...literally, ha!
Just love reading these posts and experiencing vicariously what each day is like. Our daughter's Addie (from Ethiopia) talks non-stop as soon as her eyes open. She has to preface everything with" ...I need tell you something" You MUST acknowledge or it is repeated and louder every time! Each adoption is its own journey; she's already 3 1/2 and wide open. Couldn't even sit up at 10.5 months when they brought her home, now runs, has a bike, a scooter; loves to swim. I often think about her orphanage life, too..so hard to see that. Keep sharing, and I'll keep reading!
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